Remember the beginning of your relationship, when you and your partner couldn’t get your hands off each other? You hardly had to try, and the sparks flew organically.
Unfortunately, after a while, those sparks don’t ignite as easily as effortlessly as they used to. The mystery fades over time, a routine appears, and suddenly, you realize you’ve been having the exact same sex for the last year and a half.
The longer you spend with a partner, the more you need to work at keeping things exciting and spicy in the bedroom. Things happen – a difficult life event or hormonal changes can cause a downturn in your sex life. But it shouldn’t mean the end of your sex life forever – there are always new ways to spice things up with your partner. To get you inspired, we’ve compiled a list of 8 irresistible tips that you can use to spice up your sex life right now.
Switch Up Positions
Most people who complain about their sex lives going stagnant blame it on a lack of versatility in terms of how they have sex. So, naturally, a good place to start is by switching things up in the bedroom.
We know you love missionary, doggy, spread eagle. So do we…in moderation. But like they say, you can have too much of a good thing. The key to spicing things up in the bedroom is to try out different positions frequently. Different positions allow you to go at different paces and stimulate different erogenous zones. So, dust off your old copy of the Kama Sutra and get sexperimenting!
Talk About Sex
Make sex talk a part of your everyday dialogue. The more you talk about sex, the more sexual you feel, and the more you can figure out with your partner what worked, and what can be improved for next time. Your conversations about sex will also get easier the more often they happen.
Bring up things that you want to try sexually as they come up – whether it’s something you saw in porn, in a movie, or a secret kink that you’ve been sitting on for a while. By freely sharing your deep, sensual thoughts with your partner, you’re creating a space for them to be vulnerable and do the same.
Being committed to learning and communicating what turns you on to your partner encourages a healthy and constantly evolving sex life.
Add Some New Sex Toys To Your Collection
Sex toys are a fantastic way of adding some heat and added sensations to your sex. Not only are there toys that complement any type of sex you already enjoy, but there are some that take you to new heights of pleasure you could’ve never dreamed of.
Make it a shared experience with your partner and go to a sex shop together, and spend time looking around, until one of you finds a toy that makes their insides curl with excitement. When the two of you agree on one, proceed to the checkout counter and use it that same night!
With the current pandemic climate, online stores are a convenient and easy way to browse for sex toys with your partner from the comfort of your own bed. Thankfully, there are thrusting and vibrating dildos to spice up your sex life either solo or with your partner.
Never Stop Surprising Your Partner
Send your partner a sexy photo in the middle of their workday, hop into the shower with them once in a while or wake them up with a surprise blow job or cunnilingus. Keeping your partner on their toes sexually is one of the spiciest ways you can up the ante in your sex life.
Threesomes and orgies aren’t the only ways to keep things exciting. Even just buying a new piece of lingerie is an erotic way to positively surprise your partner.
Watch Porn Together
Watching porn with your partner is the key to introducing kinky sex into a more mundane routine. It helps you discover new ways of getting off, and can get you or your partner more comfortable with the idea of doing certain things in the bedroom. Not to mention you’ll both also get super wound up, and can touch each other as the scene picks up steam before finally going all the way when you can’t take it any longer.
Another great way to use porn to your advantage is by using a scene as a demo, to show your partner exactly what you’d like to try out. Who knew porn could be so educational?
If you and your partner love dirty talk, you can also substitute the visuals for literature, reaching for an erotica novel instead. Read it out to your partner (or vice-versa) and see how long you can go before ripping each other’s clothes off!
Work Out Together
Working out releases positive endorphins from our bodies, similar to those that we get when we orgasm. That’s why working out often leads to increased arousal. Seeing your partner sweaty and primal-looking certainly doesn’t hurt either. Don’t bother showing afterwards – you’ll just get dirty all over again.
Give Them A Sensual Massage
Ditch the Netflix occasionally, and give your partner a sensual massage instead. Watching TV can be so impersonal, and this romantic activity gives you a chance to get intimate and vulnerable with your partner.
Set the mood – line up some massage oils and scents, get some soft music playing in the background, and explore your partner’s body in different ways through a sensual body massage. If you enjoy sensory play, you can incorporate props like silk blindfolds, feather ticklers, or temperature sensitive dildos (glass is a good option, since it can be heated up or cooled down).
Not only will this shared moment and experience help you feel more connected to your partner, but you’ll probably also sleep better that night, having opted out of staring at a screen for an hour before bed.
Flirt And Tease
Do you remember how you flirted with your partner in the beginning stages of your relationship? Flirting and teasing is an incredible way to keep the passion alive, and to bring back the sexual energy that you had as a single guy or gal.
Hit on your partner as they’re making their coffee in the morning – or better yet, make it for them. Show your love and desire for them in a way that makes it seem like you’re still trying to woo them, even though they know you’re stuck with them either way. Make them feel like you’re choosing them.
If you want to get extra saucy, do things that you know turns them on, but don’t let them touch you right away. For example, while getting dressed for work in the morning, put on your stockings and bra first, and continue walking around the house as you make your breakfast, making it seem like you’re just in the middle of getting ready. Then, when you put on your blouse, leave an extra few buttons undone. Your partner will know exactly what you’re doing. However, this may lead to some really hot morning sex. You’ve been warned.